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THE UBER-REVIEW VOLUME 1:
Turbonegro:
Not really. But that's okay. You see, most bands are incredibly fortunate if they release even one album that's good, let alone one that is considered a classic. Turbonegro released two classics before they broke up! Three if you want to include Never Is Forever. So the bar is incredibly high. I've thought about this long and hard, and I just can't like this record as much as I like Apocalypse Dudes, Ass Cobra or Never Is Forever. Despite the promises of Happy Tom, it's hard to consider Scandinavian Leather their best album, but it also fits comfortably alongside their other, simply brilliant albums. As the band stated early on amid the initial flurry of hype, this is a bit darker than Apocalypse Dudes. It's definitely in the same vein though. Where Apocalypse Dudes was the perfect raging hedonistic party on a Friday night, where everyone has a smile on their face and a beer in the hand, Scandinavian Leather has hints of a more somber Saturday-night affair, where hard feelings, and maybe a fight or two are more likely to emerge. Or maybe it's Apocalypse Dudes the reprise. For a band that's changed pretty drastically from album to album, this is the first time they've really held on to a consistent style. It starts out in the same way that Apocalypse Dudes did, with a seedy, prog-rock prelude. And it has the same dazzling, Euroboy-fed guitar that’s hard and shiny like a diamond – or something else altogether. Also, Scandinavian Leather once again takes at least a dozen classic points of influence (such as Alice Cooper, Thin Lizzy, David Bowie, Cheap Trick and Black Flag. I swear I hear some Boston going on in there somewhere) and blends them together into something entirely their own. It might be more melodic this time around. It's definitely more produced, and In some ways it plays the glam rock angle even harder. Nevertheless, when comparing it to previous efforts it seems more accessible and more inaccessible simultaneously. After the aforementioned intro (titled Blizzard of Flames) it starts off with what is the lowest point of the album, Wipe it Till It Bleeds. It's not a really bad song, but it's hard to get enthused by it. It's not really right for Hank Von Helvete's voice, which sounds best when it's able to soar along without any staccato breaks. He sounds like he's being held back by WITIB’s jerky tempo. It only goes up from there, though. Things get back on track in a jiffy, with a double-pronged nod to the hair-raising Turbonegro of old. "Gimme Some" and "Turbonegro Must Be Destroyed" are jet-fueled juggernauts that will give you exactly the charge you need to handle the entirely different style that appears for the first time on "Sell Your Body (To The Night)." It might be a shock to the system right from the start, but it's undeniably catchy, and like its fraternal twin "Fuck The World," it creeps along like a classic Alice Cooper Song. It's the soundtrack to a slow motorcycle ride through a dark downtown alley with rain-soaked pavement glistening in the moonlight. The other songs will amaze as well. Particularly "Train of Flesh," "Remain Untamed" and my favorite song of the album, "Drenched In Blood." It finishes off with one of the most unhinged album closers I've ever heard, "Ride With Us" (its spooky flute, tittering in the background sounds distinctly Norwegian -- not that I'd know). So why, exactly, doesn't it top their previous efforts? To answer my own rhetorical question, it could be as simple as "Wipe It Till It Bleeds." I have another theory, however... I think it's the lyrics. In the past, Turbonegro consistently shocked, surprised and made you laugh with their whip-smart lyrics. I'm not usually one to obsess over something like lyrics. Rock lyrics are supposed to be dumb right? But the thing that Turbonegro does so beautifully is write dumb lyrics that sounded so smart – or vice versa. The music took you in, but the lyrics really helped to finish the whole Turbonegro package. I, for one, could not believe that these guys spoke English as a second language when I first heard them. They were cleverer than any native English-speaking band I'd ever heard. The lyrics this time around sound* great, and they complement the tunes, but they're pretty standard overall. Here are some random gems that appear on their last album, Apocalypse Dudes:
Compare those with the lyrics that you hear on Scandinavian Leather:
Not bad, but it doesn't necessarily blow you away. Granted, I'm leaving out some zingers to prove my point, (such as "you've got to keep it clean, you're little meat machine" in Wipe It 'til it Bleeds) but it seems like previous albums were overflowing with all these great little concoctions of words that were almost as much fun as the music itself. Because they've upped the darkness (and downplayed the homosexual wordplay that made other albums so much fun) Scandinavian Leather sounds just a little more ordinary than albums before. And is that so bad? The album is still as explosive as a train ride through hell. I mean, they've been consistently brilliant for a long time, and I've had four years of listening to the previous albums over and over again. It's only natural that the latest album does not have quite the same impact. But it's still as brilliant of an album as you would expect from Turbonegro. I think I’ve just grown accustomed to their genius. I'm sure a newcomer, who is ready for the greatest rock band alive, will be knocked flat on their ass with this. And I emphasize ready. I do think you need to be ready to fully appreciate Turbonegro. And to the folks at Epitaph, if you want to put me on your promo list for the next Turbo album... I kid because I love. |
First
of all, I'd like to facetiously thank Epitaph for ignoring
my request for a free copy of this record! I'm sure they were
bombarded with a lot of requests for this thing, but I always
heard they were the label that would support any zine -- regardless
of how shitty they were. Well, I'd like to inform you that The
Odyssey is one shitty zine that Epitaph does not, apparently,
have the time of day for. Plus, I've written some pretty glowing
(yet earnest) reviews for some of their records (for other zines,
and for amazing bands that ended up leaving, or being dropped
from, the label). So here I am, writing what might be the longest
review in my career for an album released by the label
that has yet to acknowledge my existence, while some other incredibly
cool labels have sent me great records that I never even asked
for! Bitching aside, I sucked it up and paid for this album.
And I will happily drone on and on about it. I love Turbonegro,
and I have been waiting breathlessly for Scandinavian Leather
since it was first announced, and as expected, I have greeted
it like manna from rock and roll heaven. I have probably listened
to it a minimum of 6 times a day since I purchased it. It's
packed with crushing, grandiose guitar magic and shimmering,
squealing Euroboy solos. Is it great? Absolutely. Especially
if you're already a Turbonegro fan. Is it better than Ass Cobra
or Apocalypse dudes?